Morocco - Sahara

Walking back from dinner one evening in Marrakech I stopped to take a photo of a cat who had sat on a table of items outside of a shop. The shop keeper laughed at it with me, saying he didn’t have the heart to move her. I looked into the shop and spotted a ring which I liked. On reaching a stalemate during the haggling I paused and noticed the music playing. It was incredible and I had never heard it before. I asked the man what it was and he said it was music from the Sahara. I exclaimed that I was going to go to the Sahara in a few days. He told me that he was from there, and showed me some photos. He gave me the number of his friend who lived there, in case I needed help whilst there. He agreed with my lower price for the ring and I wished him goodnight. The following morning I walked up the same street to get a coffee, noticing his shop again and catching his eye. I shouted out, asking if he would like a coffee as I was going to get one. He nodded and told me his order, giving me his glass to use. Carrying the piping hot cups back down the street to a chorus of “for me?” from the other men, and causing a stir with my answer “for Ali!”, I rushed back. Ali thanked me for the coffee and said I really should message his friend as he was a good person and would help. I said I might, and went to find the bus to the mountains. When I realised I’d messed up in assuming the mountains were on the way to the desert, both being south of Marrakech, I did message his friend, Youness, to ask for advice on the best way to get to M’Hamid (the desert town). Youness was incredibly helpful and I explained that I would like to camp in the desert too, which he confirmed was something he could help with. In the morning I let him know that I would be travelling by bus and didn’t have any data so wouldn’t be able to contact him again. He told me a cafe with a wifi I could go to once reaching M’Hamid. My plan was to go here and then check my messages and look for a guesthouse if necessary (I wasn’t sure if I was being invited to stay with Youness and what this situation would be exactly). After a 9.5 hour bus journey (passed pleasantly with audiobooks, journalling and this new sahara music) we arrived into M’Hamid. It was 9:15pm and I prepared myself to walk into the town and find the cafe. As I stepped off the bus I heard a soft “Meg?” and looked over to see two men stood back from the bus. One man with black curls dressed in a golden long traditional shirt looked bashfully at me through his long eyelashes, the second taller and slimmer with clever eyes. It took me a moment to register that this must be Youness and a friend (Mohamed it turned out). “I wasn’t expecting you! How kind” - as I walked towards them and made to shake their hands as is the usual greeting here. This put them at ease a little, but they still seemed nervous. They explained that they wanted to make sure I made it here okay, and could show me Youness’ house if I wanted, and I could decide if I’d like to stay there or not. I looked into both of their eyes and took a moment to consider this. I want to clarify that I understand that some of what I do seems reckless and dangerous. But it really isn’t. I choose to trust people who I feel that I can trust. You can tell a trustworthy person immediately, in my opinion anyway. I knew I could trust these two men completely, so did. I got into their car where another guy, Madi who was Mohamed’s brother, was waiting. Both Mohamed and Madi spoke exceptionally good english, Youness didn’t. We drove the short distance to the house and entered the gate. As we slowly pulled up I could make out through the dark that the house was a slight construction site. Interesting. We got out and I could feel Youness’ concern over my satisfaction with the house. He shuffled apprehensively as Mohamed explained that as the house was still under construction, there was no toilet, no shower, no sink. I assured them repeatedly that this was fine! Turning down the offer of going somewhere else or being taken to a friend’s camp to use their facilities. Walking through the entrance the first room was a full construction zone but the second was lovely. Warm and decorated. A cosy corner on one side, a kitchen on the other. A scattering of rugs and poufs filled the rest. The bedroom was perfect - a large, beautifully made bed behind a curtain and in a separate room. I could see how much effort had been made for my arrival. And even more become apparent as time went on: mineral water as they weren’t sure the village water would be okay for me; milk for me to have with my coffee; toilet roll to use outside; new pots of jam to have with breakfast. We sat and drank tea made by Youness. I said sugar was okay, something I regretted immensely over the next few days, resigned to having extremely sweet tea every time. Mohamed and I spoke about politics and spirituality and Islam, he was very clever. Madi was my age and fun. Youness was the most gentle man I’d ever met. When the tagine was served I insisted we ate together, and refused the plate and cutlery to eat with my hands with them. We talked late into the night before my yawns took over and I said I would like to sleep. I used the surrounding dunes as a bathroom, looking up at the stars, thinking of how wonderful the huge house would be once it was finished. For now the large Riad area was filled with sacks of dates. I smiled at my earlier resolve to stay in nicer places. I had my best night’s sleep of the entire trip.

In the morning I sleepily made my way into the dunes to wash my face, brush my teeth and go to the toilet. I took in my surroundings in the light of day - a construction site but a tidy one, the beginnings of beautiful gardens, stretches of palm trees and early desert behind, and small dunes in the immediate vicinity. The sun warmed me and I felt completely calm. After finishing yoga in the dunes and getting dressed, I walked outside to find a small white metal table in a circle of palm trees. On it, a marvellous breakfast spread.

I spent the next three days with these men and I fell completely into desert life. They gave me a Moroccan name: Leyla, meaning night in arabic. A part from Mohamed, this was the name used for me until I returned to Marrakech. It was strange to be introduced as Leyla, but I got used to it. I had the most incredible time living in this house with Youness. I learnt how to cook tagines and make Moroccan salads. I sunbathed and read in the dunes. I started each morning with yoga in the quiet of the sand. I journaled on the small white table. I spoke with the different men and nomads who visited the house for tea, playing with a little girl that came with one of them. When it was just Youness and I at home, two small birds would join us inside and sit on the table as we ate.

After lunch on my first day it was time to head into the desert. As I was short on time, we were to take a car rather than camels. With Madi driving, me sat in front and Youness in the back we set off, driving to the end of the road and then beyond into the desert. Youness told us about the different plants that we passed and their medicinal uses. He pointed out the last souk before the Great Sahara. The desert started quite rocky and open, small dunes here and there and a lot of palm trees. The palms soon stopped and the dunes became dominant. We stopped to collect wood and I helped. I enjoyed the strength of the sun through my watering eyes. As the rocks fell away and only dunes remained we skated over them in the car, with the feeling being amazing. We got closer to the big dune, Erg Zahar. Youness told us that the name Zahar means making a “zzz” sound in arabic as the nomads heard such a sound from the dune. They thought there was a monster living inside but it’s simply the sound the sand makes as it moves in the wind. We started looking for the perfect place to stay, skating across the dunes. Madi driving skilfully and Youness giving the directions. At times I thought we’d certainly become stuck in the basin of dunes, but I was never concerned. I trusted the two of them completely. Eventually, we found the perfect pocket in the dunes and Madi informed me of this with “this is our place”.

We set up camp here, putting up a canvas tent and laying out large blankets. Youness started a fire so quickly I missed it by blinking. He made tea with the teapot directly on the fire, the nomad way. He was clearly in his element. Madi and I went to climb the big dune to watch the sunset. It was hard work to the top, but I beat Madi. We joined the many people at the top and found a quiet spot. We spoke about Madi’s previous job as a nurse, about his plans to travel around Africa, and how Morocco is culturally closer to the middle east than Africa. Friends of Madi joined us and I left them to talk and took in the sunset silently. I could see the Algerian border beyond the dunes. The sun disappeared and some people clapped. Madi and I, hand in hand, ran down the dune and back to Youness. He was now in full desert mode, turban on, fire roaring with the teapot on one pile of burning ash, the tagine on a second and a large pot on the third. I watched the reflections of the flames in the teapot. I watched Youness do the ritual of pouring the tea from glass to glass and back into the pot. We drank the tea and smoked kief from a pipe. The stars started to appear and I lay back to take them in, softly high and in awe. We ate harira (the good version) and then goat tagine. Youness and Madi sang nomad songs in beautiful arabic, using a water container as a drum. I accepted the offer of sleeping under the stars rather than in the tent and changed into warmer clothes and got ready for bed. Under two blankets I felt suitably cosy but Youness placed a third over me. I wished them both goodnight and took in the stars again. I couldn’t believe how many there were. My eyes were heavy but I forced them open a little longer. I fell asleep easily, feeling the warm breeze of the fire at my feet on my exposed face, and although it was a little cold during the night, it was one of the best night’s sleep of my life.

I woke and opened my eyes to see the start of light on the bottom of the horizon and the stars disappearing. I cuddled in closer under the blankets and fell back asleep. I woke for a second time in full light, although the sun still hadn’t risen. At my feet the fire blazed again with Youness crouched next to it, making tea like always. I watched him for a while before he noticed I was awake and smiled at me with his eyes surrounded by turban. He must’ve been so careful and quiet not to wake me. I sat up, stretching and wished him good morning. He asked if there had been animals in the night. I shook my head no. He looked around and said maybe I’d slept through them. Choosing not to dwell on this thought I got up and walked up one of the surrounding dunes. The sand was cold through my socks. I watched the sunrise, occasionally glancing back to the camp and Youness at work. It was all so beautiful. I ran back down the dune to the camp, arms wide and with a huge smile. Youness made eggs on the fire and we ate breakfast together like usual. I left them to clean up and walked up a different dune to do yoga. What a place for it. I danced in the dune and breathed in the sun and the sand and the sky. I understood their love of the desert now, and loved it too. I returned to the now packed up camp and we got into the car and drove away, sahara music playing. Once we’d left the big dunes behind I got behind the wheel and enjoyed driving over the small dunes, gliding around the corners.

Back at the house I went to look around the village. It was dusty and not pretty and I felt uneasy with the eyes of the men on me. I finished my shopping, I bought chocolate and bananas to cook on the fire that evening, and hurried back to the safety of the house. That afternoon Mohamed brought one of his camels over for me to ride. After hearing so many wonderful things about the animals I decided I didn’t want to ride it, so Youness and I instead took Raisha (the camel) for a walk. We walked out through the dunes behind the house for a long way, until we reached a Kasbah (an old village). Here we tied up Raisha and Youness showed me around. We saw an old mosque where the roof had collapsed and the old men gathered inside. A back and forth song-like exchange took place between them and Youness. As we walked through the dark spots I felt a small hand slip into mine, a little boy who had followed us in. He pulled it away in the light. The Kasbah used to be home to the Jewish community but they had now left. Now it was home to Africans from other parts of Africa, brought here in the slave trade. There were so many children running around. At a small shop Youness bought them all chocolate bars. They ripped them open and dropped the wrappers to the ground. The sun was setting and we rushed over to the dunes to sit and watch. Silently we observed it disappearing behind the clouds, no clear sky today. We spoke about Islam and I shocked Youness with my lack of faith. We spoke about love and I shocked Youness with the concept of dating. We spoke about feminism and I shocked Youness with my want to always work, even if I was married and had children. I liked Youness a lot, his presence was so calming and so gentle. In a different place I would have kissed him whilst sat there on the dune. But I didn’t know what a kiss meant here, and if it was consent to more. So, whilst I wished to lie against him on the dune or to take his hand on the dark walk back to the house, I didn’t.

On my last night in the desert we had a fire on the small dunes by the house. I made chocolate filled bananas and cooked them in foil on the ash. Youness and I together made sand bread. This was very cool! We moved the fire to one side and dug a shallow hole in the sand, placing the circle of dough down and covering it back up with the hot sand and a layer of ash. We waited and watched the mound grow as the bread rose. Clearing the ash and sand away, a perfect loaf of bread was unveiled. Youness brushed it down and used a knife to remove the sand from any small ridges. He broke off a piece for me and it was warm and spongy and delicious. We ate it with our tagine.

Youness needed to tie up Raisha for the night but couldn’t find him. I smiled to myself as I helped him hunt for the camel, amused at how one could lose a camel. He told me more about the nomad tradition of tea. Of how pouring the tea back and forth between the cups and the pot created a foam which acted as a sieve for any sand or camel hair. Of how three cups should be had, one for the dead, one for the living and one for the spirit. I looked at the stars again and thought about what Mohamed had told me about nomads believing everyone had a star which appeared when they were born. If your star was unstable it meant you were to lead a disruptive life, being a leader or discovering something important or other such thing.

On the morning I headed back to Marrakech Youness gave me the necklace he wore. I tried to refuse, knowing it was his grandma’s, but he insisted. He carried my bags to the taxi station for me and I gave him a tight hug goodbye, watching sadly as he walked away and I lowered into my seat. I let myself feel how sad I felt as the taxi drove away from the desert. I even cried a few soft tears. I questioned why, was it because it was the end of my trip? But no, it was because I was leaving this place in the desert and this man.

I am so glad I asked about the music playing in Ali’s shop. I am so glad I trusted my intuition in trusting these men. I am so glad I experienced the desert in this way. As you can perhaps tell, I fell a bit in love with the desert and plan to return and spend longer in the dunes, travelling across it as a nomad.

Morocco - High Atlas Mountains

Walking boots on I was ready to go to the mountains. I went to the bus station (a lay-by) and was welcomed with a shout of “Imlil?” to which I nodded and was ushered onto the full minibus. Well that was easy I thought, as I munched on some nuts provided by the lady squeezed next to me. Of course it wasn’t actually that easy, and after changing into three more vehicles I eventually reached Imlil, it taking 3.5 hours to do the 1.5 hour journey. On arriving a man scooped me up and offered a good price for a room and board. I said I would see the place and then decide, sitting and drinking tea with him as we waited for the tourists he was there for. On the journey I had thought about the contrast of this trip where I had only socialised with locals, compared to time spent in hostels and with other travellers. Whilst I loved the latter and it was very fun, I wasn’t wanting that on this trip. I didn’t want to talk about myself or my life or my travels. I only wanted to learn about Morocco and the people from here. Naturally, this meant that when the taxi arrived with the other tourists they were four, british travellers. I enjoyed chatting to them in the evening anyway, but took care to keep my distance. After seeing the lovely terrace with a view down the valley and the surrounding mountains, and seeing the room was private with an ensuite, I agreed to stay. After drinking thyme tea in the sun I went to find the nearby waterfall, dancing along the mountain-side path. The waterfall was odd, quite small and squished with a drink stall / cafe. I ate a Moroccan salad here and the man filmed a piece of cinematic genius, directing me to stand in different positions as he panned around. He showed me how to make the delicious harissa served on my salad, and gave me a handful of olives for free. The brits from the guesthouse appeared and I walked with them back to the village, where I bought some nuts and argon oil. We ate dinner together in the guesthouse. There was a bowl of harira to start, but not the sort I’d had in Marrakech, this one was a white, lumpy, tasteless liquid. I put this to one side and moved swiftly on to the warm bread and chicken tagine. We ate tasty oranges for dessert. I decided I would do a long hike in the morning, a two day hike in a single day. I organised this with the guesthouse owner and went up to the terrace to take in the stars, which were remarkable. I sighed about how much I missed the stars living in London, where it never even got completely dark. There were small fires in the valley and I imagined the people sat closely around them for warmth. It was very cold. In my little room, as I put a clean tshirt over the grubby pillowcase and changed into leggings to avoid touching the ancient blankets, I realised that I didn’t really fancy this style of travelling right now. It’s hard to remember that I’m not on a shoestring budget anymore and I can, in fact, stay in relatively nice places and not the absolute cheapest ones! I slept awfully in the cold room and was happy for the morning.

After eating breakfast, a little before 8, I set off with Mouhad my guide who looked about 17 but assured me he was 20. Day hadn’t yet broken but it was not completely dark. From the guesthouse we ascended. With each pause I looked back to the town and saw the sky become brighter and more pink. It was beautiful. And so very quiet. Only the occasional bird noise broke the air. After 1.5 hours of climbing we reached the top of Tassgimout, and descended the other side to the village of Tizi Oussem. Mouhad and I talked as we hiked. In the mountains, people were either arabic or Berber. Berber people are native to Morocco and there are different groups in different areas, with different dialects of Berber language and different traditions. In Imlil, the people were High Atlas Berbers. Mouhad felt very strongly about his religion and told me how important the five daily prayers were and how ramadan gave him energy for the year. The first cup of tea is always poured back into the teapot to mix the sugar. It’s normal for girls in the mountains to have a baby at 16 or 17 and to marry earlier. He speaks Berber and arabic fluently, but cannot read the Berber script as it wasn’t taught in school (but it is now). When he messages in Berber he writes it in french. We reached the town of Tizi Oussem, which was the home of Mouhad’s mother, and were immediately stopped by an aunt of his to have breakfast. The home was very simple and like those in Tajikistan, with a strange tiled floor, bare concrete walls and lots of rugs and blankets. We were, to my horror, served huge bowls of the white, gloupy harira. I knew I had to finish it so set about trying to gulp it down. I asked Mouhad what it was - flour and water. The tastelessness made sense. Next came thyme tea and bread served with the most fragrant homemade olive oil, and then doughnut like balls. Completely stuffed (this being my second breakfast after all) we said we’d take the remaining two doughnuts with us. In coming to pack them up, two more were snuck in by the aunt. Continuing through the village was quite the experience. Everyone stopped to shake our hands and say hello, and every lady (who were more numerous than the men, unlike in Marrakech) insisted we eat breakfast with them. Our excuse that we’d already eaten two breakfasts didn’t faze them at all, and it was only with much back and forth and patting of our full bellies that they relented and let us continue on. We could’ve eaten 6 or 7 more breakfasts if we’d wanted to! The generosity was incredible. We saw women making bread in tandoor like ovens, and leading sheep on leads like Little Bo Beep. Many of the houses were damaged from the recent earthquake and these families were staying in tents or containers. I commented on how it was strange that only some of the houses had been damaged and not all, Mouhad corrected me with “not some, lots” and I apologetically agreed.

After passing through a second village we left the track and ascended once again, this time through juniper bushes. High in the hills was a football pitch which I found very funny, as it was in no way flat. At the top we paused for a snack and I enjoyed the silence. A shepherd appeared and Mouhad spoke with him before giving him the uneaten lunch food - oranges, sardines and cheese. I remembered the doughnuts in my bag and handed these over. The man thanked us and continued along the hill. As the afternoon continued we listened to Berber mountain music and Mouhad taught me some dance moves to go with my new Berber words. All too soon Imlil appeared beneath us and we descended back into the town and to the guesthouse. I thanked and paid Mouhad, sending him all the photos I had taken for his instagram. I drank tea and considered my next moves as my feet rested.

I realised my assumption that Imlil was on the way to the Sahara was incorrect, although it was geographically the roads and mountains meant the best way to go further south was actually to go back north to Marrakech. As lovely as the mountains were, it was too cold and I felt satisfied after my long hike. The desert called me instead. And so I decided to try and get back to Marrakech that evening, so I could head to the desert the following morning. I rushed to the taxi point without showering, dirty and weary but excited now I’d settled on my plan. Seeing a full taxi I asked “Marrakech?” and got the reply of “Marrakech, but full” and watched the taxi drive away. Ah well, you can’t win them all. I dropped my bags and ate an orange, spitting the pips down to the dried river bed. I played catch with my orange peel, entertaining the taxi drivers by throwing it higher and higher. I pulled my High Atlas hat on as the sun disappeared behind the mountains, bought the previous day on the way to the waterfall. I wasn’t worried about what was going to happen, either I’d get a shared taxi to Marrakech tonight or I wouldn’t and I’d stay in Imlil another night, but in a nicer guesthouse. Some old men showed me the bracelets in their rucksacks and I bought a copper bangle from them. I tried hitchhiking with abysmal success. On seeing a minibus pull around the corner I asked the taxi drivers if this was going to Marrakech, they said yes but it was a tourist bus. I exclaimed “but I am a tourist!” to their amusement, and raced to stretch out my thumb. The bus didn’t stop. After 45 minutes of this I think the taxi driver just felt sorry for me so, with four men wanting to go Asni, he said to climb in and he would take me to Marrakech. I didn’t believe him at first, which made him smile, but he assured me he would. Feeling very pleased I sat in the front and watched the sun set a second time, as we left the valley and mountains behind.

On reaching Marrakech, I went to the closest restaurant and ordered harira (the nice version) and used their wifi to find somewhere to stay. I set out for my chosen Riad but no one answered the door. Feeling slightly concerned, it being almost 10pm and having nowhere to stay, wandering the streets of Marrakech, I went to another nearby Riad. Again, no answer. I turned to leave, feeling even more concerned, when a man appeared along the street and ran over to let me in. Checked in I showered in the very excellent shower and collapsed into bed.

A brief but pleasant visit to the mountains. Not the most amazing mountains I’ve ever seen, but the Berber people were incredible and I enjoyed this experience a lot.

Morocco - Marrakech

I decided on Morocco for my first trip away since returning to normal life. I simply wanted to go to Morocco, the vibe felt right being warm, a little hectic, and middle eastern with a twist. On reflection, I found the Islam countries I visited some of the most interesting, and wanted to continue this exploration. When I saw the return flights to Marrakech from Gatwick were £55 the plan was solidified.

Trip Stats
10 days
Total cost - £565 (excluding souvenirs)
Beds slept in - 6 (of hugely varying luxury!)
Places visited - 3 (Marrakech, Imlil, M’hamid and the Sahara)

Marrakech

I landed into Marrakech at 9pm. I had the usual back and forth with the passport officer over his surprise that I was travelling alone. Less usual was when he asked for my phone number. Finding it amusing, and considering it may be a useful connection to have if anything did happen, I nodded and wrote it down on the piece of paper slid through the passport slot. Leaving the airport I took out some cash (you really never need to exchange money before you travel) and caught bus number 19 to Jeema El Fna, the main square. Disembarking, Marrakech hit me. I walked through the park leading to the square, peering down at the carts of unknown food. Ahead I could see a large opening a huge sea of people. It was hazy and bustling. As I crept through the crowds the large square became evident, filled with performers and accompanying gatherings of people, like islands across the expanse. The performers were mostly musicians. I caught a man’s eye and he gestured for me to take his stool, so I did. I became part of the circle, right next to the drummer, and breathed in the night. The man took my hand wanting to dance, but I decided that was too far for tonight, still ladled with my bags. I dropped a coin in the dish and continued on my way to my Riad (a guesthouse). It was the other side of the Medina (the old town) and it turned out the streets of the souk (market) were in between. I took my time walking there, stopping to look in the shops that were still open. I found the shopkeepers to be very friendly. I bought some mint tea from one, after a long tour of all the shop’s offerings and warnings from the men that if I went to the mountains alone as I planned, I would die. Interesting… On leaving the shop I realised how late it was and hurried through the rest of the now almost deserted market. Men crouched in the dark and tiled the walls in places. I got to what seemed a dead end until I saw a cat sneak through the crack in the door. I pushed it open gingerly, scaring the cat, and also snuck through. A man appeared and spoke to me in french, clearly saying the gate here was now shut and to follow him down a dark alley. Dubious I thought, looking over my shoulder at the welcome sight of approaching people. Together we followed the man down the alley and then under a tarpaulin sheet and out, laughing away feeling safe in numbers. We stuck together and gathered more lost souls as we escaped the market. I wished them goodnight and headed down another deserted street to my Riad. I started to feel slightly concerned when I passed the location on google maps and there was no sight of it, until there the door was - ornate and blue. I knocked and met the lovely family, taking in the two gorgeous terraces. I sat on the top one and took in the view before going to my very nice room to sleep.

The colours of the terrace were even more gorgeous in the morning sun. I began each morning here by breathing in the cool air and doing yoga overlooking the city. I ate a traditional Moroccan breakfast in the calm downstairs room, with its water feature and no roof. The breakfast is most similar to a Turkish breakfast: several types of bread, triangle cream cheese, small bowls of honey and jams, an omelette. All washed down with the infamous Moroccan mint tea, which was very delicious.

I spent two full days in the city initially, spending the time wandering around the endless streets of the Medina and just observing the life. I loved the orange colours of the buildings, the blues of the pottery, the sounds of arabic flooding the streets. I spent half an hour watching two old men play draughts on an upturned cardboard box with bottle tops, until one man touched a piece he shouldn’t have and lots of shouting ensued before the game was angrily packed away. I stumbled upon a tannery and was given a tour with the assistance of a sprig of mint to cover the smell. Here they made leather (not just tanned it as I wrongly thought from the name). The animal skin was placed in vats of different substances (lime water, pigeon poo, water) to remove the hair and residue. It was dried in the sun and the top layer was removed by hand in cool rooms around the edge of the open tannery. As I was expecting, I was shown to a leather shop after my tour. As I did actually want to buy a bag this was fine by me and I haggled away. When I later googled the tanneries to learn more I discovered the “tannery scam” and it seems I may have been their most willing victim ever! I suppose it’s not really a scam if you actually want to do it, but it makes sense why the young boy touring me around seemed surprised by my encouragement to continue the tour and willingness to give him some money afterwards. I made friends with two neighbouring shopkeepers on a street by the Marrakech museum. We drank tea and laughed together, and they invited me back for lunch the next day. I returned to the Jeema El Fna square, having to avoid streets adjacent to mosques which were filled with men praying, spilling out on the holy Friday. The square was unpleasant in the day. It was too hot and too big and too open. Umbrellas were dotted across it with snake charmers and henna ladies crouched underneath. I shuddered at the thought of it in the summer. Even now I squinted in the full glare of the sun, eyes watering, and hurried across the space. After an afternoon doze in the serenity of my Riad, I accepted the offer of the daughter (Reina) to accompany her to the hammam.

The hammam was an experience. I thought the one I had visited in Istanbul was authentic but this was on a different level. In just our pants, Reina’s friend led me by the hand to the second room. It was very basic, just a tiled room with one tap. We sat on mats on the floor. The friend bathed me, exfoliating me twice, covering me in clay and removing my pants at this point. As I lay on the tiled floor completely nude, staring at the domed ceiling I smiled at the strangeness of it all and how I felt so comfortable and unexposed. It was wonderful to see Moroccan women in this light, naked and laughing and washing each other. I hadn’t had many interactions with women before this point, with them being largely absent from the streets of the city. As I was washed I spoke with Reina. She didn’t know why she came once a week to the hammam when she could bathe at home, and she did still go when on her period but others didn’t. She was muslim but didn’t wear a hijab because she didn’t pray and she noticed that Europeans treated people in hijabs differently. I wished hammams were a thing in England, I’d quite like to do it with my friends!

I took a man up on his offer of a healing massage after reading the book of comments left by hundreds of happy customers spanning years. I can’t say it was particularly life changing but I appreciated the clean bill of health he gave me and found the part where he hoisted me onto his bag like a rucksack and swang me around very amusing. Keeping my appointment made the previous day, I returned to the shop by the museum hungry. The older man had prepared Tangier, meat cooked with saffron and citron in a clay pot (called a tangier) over the ash for several hours. A small table and three chairs were set up in the nook of a ceramics shop and a large plate was taken from the shelf and placed on the table. The younger man held up a bread wall to protect my trousers as the tangier was emptied onto the plate. The heat spiralled up and I smelt the fragrance and salt of the sauce. It was absolutely delicious. The chunks of lamb so soft it could be broken a part by being pushed with the bread. The flavour so rich with saffron and orange. The three of us ate together with our hands from the one large plate. I enjoyed the confused look of other tourists as they walked past and looked in. I gave the men a cadburys chocolate bar for dessert, as a way of thanks. We drank tea whilst we digested the food in the sun and watched life in the Medina rumble on. The younger man offered to tour me around the city beyond the Medina on his motorbike. I accepted and we weaved through the old streets out into the real city. I loved being back on a motorbike with the warm wind. The streets were calm and wide. The city was modern and unremarkable. Back at the shop I drank coffee and ate biscotti-style biscuits that had a faint aniseed taste. The younger man wanted to show me the view from the room above the shop and as I climbed the stairs I knew this was a bad idea, but was intrigued. The view was very lovely, over the square in front of the old water facility, but the man did try to kiss me. A forceful “no” and a slight push away was enough to end his advances and we remained friendly. I picked up the spice pots I’d bought from them and wished them goodbye, deciding not to take the man up on his offer to go and see some music later that night!

I had such wonderful interactions with people in Marrakech. When the lady I bought a sardine from didn’t have any change she gave me it for free - although I found her again later on when I did have the money to pay her, which made her smile hugely. The stall owners in the Jeema El Fna in the evenings were friendly and good fun, letting me try a snail and laughing with me at how absurd the people fishing for bottles looked. I enjoyed lunch one day in a small grubby cafe. Here the man took great care in washing up cutlery for me to use, and giving me mint tea after I’d finished the delicious tagine and accompanying bread and salad. The other men that came in to eat all wished me “bon appetite” and smiled warmly. Some experiences were wonderfully strange. On my final day in Morocco I wandered the streets just south of the Medina before my flight, and accepted a man’s offer of tea. He showed me old photos of his home in the mountains and I told him about my time in Imlil. We drank beautifully spiced Berber tea, which he went and bought some for me to take home. He wrapped a scarf around my head to show me the mountain Berber way and when removing it, massaged my temples. He asked if he could continue massaging my head and I said yes. After 10 days of strangeness in Morocco, even this seemed quite normal. He massaged my head, neck, shoulders and arms. He bent my back in strange ways and pulled my arms above my head. I felt the tension melt, this man was very good. However, after the massage included one of my boobs, which caused me to raise my eyebrows but didn’t last long enough for me to act, I declined the offer of lying down to continue the massage! The man seemed concerned but assured him all was fine, thanked him for the tea and left. Slight grope or not, the massage had been great!

Marrakech was warm and full of life. I enjoyed my few days there, walking around and having slight feelings of being a local when I saw one of the people I recognised and they wished me hello, or picked me up on their moped to give me a lift to wherever I was walking. The food was good and cheap. The haggling was fun and without aggression. I wouldn’t want to spend too long here, but I enjoyed my short stay a lot.

Life post travel

Six months have passed since I arrived home. Six months since the trip that consumed my life ended. I recorded at the time just how deflated I felt in those first few days/weeks. Now I’d like to tell you about the subsequent months.

Once the dust settled, the seeing my most important people for the first time was over, and the reality of being home had not only hit me but had saturated fully in, I saw my life with new eyes. And I loved it. I had this fizz of excitement every day. Every thing looked brighter and had more depth. I smiled so much more; whilst commuting and watching a man smile at his phone or a lady with cool dangling earrings. I cooked so much, and for friends. My new little house in London become the ultimate oasis for me and my little life. I started my job and, thankfully, completely loved it. I felt energised in the day, rushing around the office, using my brain so much more than I even hoped to do. I cycled home through the alive streets, pondering thoughts on life and what the point of it all was and why I was so bloody happy. I got home, collapsed on the sofa and bounced into the kitchen to cook up something quick and easy and healthy and delicious. I ate and chatted rubbish with my lovely housemates before sculking upstairs, doing my skincare, a few stretches, turning on my sunset light and reading my book before sleeping. In a private room with no snorers, no people coming in late, no weird smells and no suspicious moans. So yes, I loved travelling and no, I didn’t feel ready to come home, but now I am home, I am so completely content with being here.

The first moment I realised I was happy exactly were I stood was when I saw a Flix bus rolling around the corner by my office on my walk to work. I looked through the high windows at the travellers folded up in their seats. I thought back to the feeling of arriving into a new city, a new country. Pure excitement, but the requirement to muster all the energy to do that excitement justice. I blinked back to my sight of the office as the bus crawled away. Not one part of me wanted to be on that bus rather than walking to work. It surprised me. Part of me doubted how I could have loved travelling so much if I could live a settled life without longing for it. Part of me knew I always loved everything I did fully, with no space to long for anything different.

Whilst I don’t long to travel right now, travel continues to be a large part of my life. I have met so many people from the places I visited and have been able to connect with them over tales of familiar food or cities. It brings me joy to remember the moments and it seems to bring them joy to discuss their home whilst living so far from it. Many friends I met whilst travelling have passed through London and we’ve gone for lunches or pints or I’ve hosted them for a few days. Having travelled to the same strange place can be an instant shared experience when I meet someone new, and one that often yields the best connection. I’ve also found it to be a huge help in talking with important people at work - it turns out a lot of partners enjoy travel too!

So travel. Travel for the joy it gives you in of itself. But also travel for the foundation it gives you to find more joy in your everyday life.

Meg the Rolling Egg lives on!

As happy as I am in my settled life, I still of course plan to travel. Whenever I can, and in whatever form I can. That means eating foreign cuisine in small restaurants in London; watching travel documentaries; reading books on travel; taking opportunities with work to tour the country visiting universities for recruitment; and, to the extent my annual leave allows, travelling again.

I will continue to blog when I can and when the feeling strikes me, on all things travel.

The final word

So, this is the end. Thank you so much for reading this blog and keeping me company on my trip. It means more than I can say. Having people reach out to let me know they enjoyed certain posts, or took inspiration from certain parts, enthused me in the most magnificent way. The act of travelling has been an insanely educational and rewarding experience but so has keeping this blog. And I have loved writing it so very much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

To all of the people I met on my travels, thank you for making them so memorable. I had so many wonderful conversations and meals and games of cards and day trips and all sorts of other strange activities with so many of you.

I will of course travel again, but a big trip like this? That I don’t know. For now, I’m starting my job as a corporate lawyer in London and will be focusing on that for the foreseeable future. So if you’re passing through London please shoot me a message, I would love to meet up with travelling friends and live vicariously through you!

This year was the best and most important and influential year of my life so far. I can’t overstate how much I have adored every single minute of it. I have never before felt so intensely alive so often. This is a reminder to do that thing you’ve been wanting to do for ages, it might just make you the happiest you’ve ever been. And one last reminder that things that are rewarding and amazing are also filled with difficult, rubbish bits that suck. You need both in life, and having both is unavoidable. Now go and travel if that’s what you want to do!

Goodbye from Meg the Rolling Egg x

P.s. If you’re thinking about travelling to anywhere I’ve been and want some tips please feel free to reach out. Talking about travelling is my favourite thing to do!

Money talk

Let’s talk about money. Travelling for as long as I’ve done is a huge privilege. I had quite a chunk saved up from part-time jobs but I didn’t have enough to fund my whole trip. I’m so lucky to have family who were willing to loan me money when I ran out, enabling me to travel for as long as possible before starting my job. With that being said, the amount of money I spent might be less than you’d think…

So I spent around £1000 a month, which is equivalent to my rent in London to put it in perspective. I did travel in an extremely frugal way in general, but splashed out on activities here and there. Doing a lot of volunteering with free accommodation and food helped bring my average down.

When I set out on my trip I did a rough budget, estimating £790 a month and so £10,000 for 13 months. I spent more than this each month and travelled for 14.5 months. Again, without my family loaning me money I would’ve had to come home a lot sooner! I’m afraid I didn’t keep a proper record of all of my expenses until the last few months so I can’t give a proper breakdown of my spending on different things, but here’s a rough overview of the average cost of a hostel and of a meal. I was going to do an average monthly cost for each place but because I volunteered in some and not others it doesn’t really work - sorry!

I did travel on a budget to the extreme and at times it was exhausting to constantly be as cheap as possible. It’s definitely not for everyone! I stayed in some truly awful places, and continued to stay in them as I didn’t want to spend more money on somewhere nicer. I never went for a fancy meal or even ate western food (this one was fine with me, I loved the local places!). I chose the cheapest travel options and tried to do everything myself rather than through tours. I did actually enjoy this aspect of travelling, it was a challenge and helped me make decisions. It didn’t stop me from doing anything I wanted and I did still splash out on some activities. But I can see how having a bit more money might be helpful, in not having to stress so much and be able to do even more fun stuff in each place.

Some of my most asked questions are about my budget and the cost of travelling. I hope this sheds some light on the matter, but if you’re planning a trip and want more information feel free to reach out!

Food round up!

A huge part of travelling for me is food. It’s exploring different cultures through their flavours and learning about life in that country by what they eat and how they eat. It’s going out for meals with locals and socialising over dinner with other travellers. Food was the main pattern I followed whilst travelling, noticing how it gradually changed from one country to the next. I watched the cuisine change in this gradual sense all the way from England to Indonesia. And that was truly magical and one of my absolute highlights of travelling. It’s not just the food that I became interested in, but how that food is eaten. The idea of three meals is very western and seeing how other places eat was intriguing. Using cutlery is also, of course, western. It took me a while, but I finally got to grips with eating with my hand and found it to be so much more enjoyable than cutlery! It took me even longer to become apt at using chopsticks, and I found the joy in using these too. I cannot wait to find good places in London that offer all of the cuisines I’ve eaten and loved whilst travelling. I also can’t wait to introduce those flavours and dishes into my own cooking. Food was such a big part of my travels, it deserves a dedicated overview post so here it is!

Disclaimer: Yes, food was a big and wonderful part of my travels, but it was also a big and not so wonderful part. Eating different cuisines constantly did really mess with my stomach and I had continual problems with it. I was lucky to only become bedridden twice, but lots of the time I was either clogged up completely or rushing to a toilet! The big part could also bring grief. Deciding what and where to eat every day was so annoying sometimes. I had serious decision fatigue at points and the thought of deciding on a restaurant and then a dish was too much. I never understood travellers who moaned about constantly having to eat out, but I get it now. Being home and being able to just eat some toast when I’m hungry is such a luxury! Okay bad bit addressed, let’s get on to the food.

Best meals

  1. Lamb Kleftiko, Greece. Tender lamb chunks cooked in a clay pot with cheese. I ate several during my time in Greece, this first one was by far my favourite. Eaten as my birthday meal with my wonderful friends in Crete. Three of us ordered this, and we all paused and looked to one another after our first mouthful, needing to confirm that what we were eating was truly this heavenly. It was.
  2. Boat noodles, Thailand. All of my favourite flavours in one dish, warmth from nutmeg, heat from chilli, freshness from herbs. One of my first meals in Southeast Asia and probably the reason I was so disappointed in Vietnamese cooking, with none of the soups I had there coming close to this one.
  3. A Georgian spread, Georgia. Served up to me by Dodo, the old lady that ran the guesthouse that I’d arrived to an hour before, dripping wet and hungry. Here we have aubergine in a garlicy mayonaise, fried potatoes, tomatoes with svaneti salt, khachapuri and a beef stew. Homely and warming and cosy and all of those good things.
  4. Happy meal, Nepal. Eaten from Yacdonalds in Kagbeni on the last night of the Annapurna Circuit (the trek I did in the Himalayas). A yak burger served with chips, coleslaw, apple and a seabuckthorn drink. One of the best burgers I’ve ever eaten. Bonus points for the humour!
  5. Khao Soi, Thailand. Why this isn’t as famous as Pad Thai I do not know. Creamy coconut curry with noodles, topped with fried noodles for some crunch. Heavenly. This is the second one I had, eaten with Rosaline up in Chiang Rai. She was as big of a fan as I was!
  6. Kharcho and Elarji, Georgia. Chicken covered in a ground up walnut and tomato sauce, served with a thick cheesy dish. True Georgian uniqueness, it’s hard to describe either component properly. Very very tasty. I ate this in a little booth in a little restaurant in Tbilisi before heading off to explore the wine region with Micah.
  7. Tofu and pork, Laos. I ate this in Laos but it’s actually a Thai dish, as all of the best Laos food seemed to be… Simple but good, the tofu on the bottom was so soft and delicious, the pork mixture on top was salty and flavourful, and the crispy onions finished it off perfectly. I ate this alone in Luang Prabang after having a busy few days with people, enjoying the solitude and the flavours in equal proportions.

Best desserts

  1. Mango sticky rice, Thailand. I do not know why this simple dessert is so good, but it really is unbeatable. Mango, sticky rice, coconut milk. That’s it. Rosaline and I were obsessed with this dessert.
  2. Yomari, Nepal. A strange dumpling pastry filled with the most decadent dark chocolate and coconut mixture. Chocolate and heavy desserts are so uncommon in Asia that I was shocked by the richness. Really damn good. I ate it on my last night in Nepal, going out to a Newari restaurant to finally try some of their cuisine as I’d heard so much about it from other Nepalese people.
  3. Kunefe, Turkey. A shredded, syrupy pastry filled with cheese. My favourite version was one with pistachios on top. All of the desserts in Turkey were pretty special, but normally a bit too sweet for me. This one had the salty cheese to cut through the syrup and it worked very well. I tried this in Sanliurfa whilst travelling with Thalia and Helena, acting as their guinea pig.

Best snacks

  1. Apple doughnut, Nepal. Whilst hiking the Annapurna Circuit in the Himalayas, only eating dal bhat and porridge, we passed an apple farm which sold apple based pastries, like this fresh, piping hot, apple filled doughnut. I can’t describe the joy that biting into its crunchy outer layer, down into the warm and fluffy middle and then into the sourness of the apple filling, brought to me. All with the view of the mountains and the weight of my backpack on my shoulders. That moment makes it one of the best things I ate on the trip.
  2. Saffron lassi, India. Lassi is a thick yogurt drink and this one was by far the best I had in India. The saffron flavour was subtle but strong enough to deliver, topped with nuts and dried fruit which added some texture as they sank into the clay cup. I enjoyed this whilst walking and observing the craziness of Varanasi.
  3. Pistachio paste, Turkey. I still dream about these. They weren’t sweet, had the best slightly gritty texture, with an insane pistachio flavour. I bought a bagful in Gaziantep and ate them really quickly, only to find they’re only really sold in Gaziantep! I managed to buy some in Mardin but they were nowhere near as good. I saved my last one for months and ended up giving it to two Turkish guys I shared a sleeper carriage with on a train from Tajikistan to Uzbekistan. The earthquake that hit Gaziantep had just happened.
  4. Peanut chaat, India. A peanut salad, served with beers. Way better than just a bowl of salted peanuts and so quick and easy to make! I ate this sat on the floor of an apartment in Osh, Kyrgystan, with the Indian and Pakistani guys that lived there. We drank beers, spoke about the Pakistan, India conflict and enjoyed this peanut chaat.
  5. Bamboo sticky rice, Cambodia. Picked up from the side of the road. Bamboo shoot filled with sticky rice cooked in coconut milk, with beans. A great little road trip snack to keep us going on our tuktuk ride from a floating village back to Siem Reap. We were all shocked at how tasty it was.
  6. Pretzel, Germany. No description needed here. A humble snack but I weirdly love pretzels and this one was by far the best I’ve ever eaten. I bought several.

Best breakfasts

  1. Roti Canai, Malaysia. Fresh roti served with a tomatoey dahl that was just to die for. Unbelievably cheap, this plate cost 20p. I had my first taste of roti canai whilst working at the rice farm, with the owners delivering it to us fresh some mornings. We’d sit and eat together after working on the paddy. Some of the volunteers would swap the dahl for peanut butter and banana!
  2. Greek yogurt with honey and walnuts, Greece. I don’t think I need to describe this dish for you, and I’m sure you can imagine how much nicer it is in Greece. I mean, just look at that block of yogurt. I walked 30 minutes in the pouring rain in search of this restaurant. It was worth every wet step.
  3. Bedmi Puri, India. Not only my favourite breakfast in India, but my favourite street food full stop. The bottom part is fried roti filled with a lentil paste, obviously spiced to perfection, served with a potato curry, equally perfectly spiced. I ate this sat in a doorway in Varanasi, watching the bodies being carried to the burning ghats and the people covered in orange. This cost 15p, making it one of my cheapest breakfasts too.
  4. Smoothie bowl, Indonesia. A big thing in the more touristy areas of Indonesia and I’m not complaining. Eating this sat literally on a beach looking out at crystal blue sea, peak happiness. This one is dragonfruit with caramelised banana and vanilla crumble. Yum.
  5. Cottage cheese pancakes, Georgia. These delightfully fluffy little parcels were found in all of the Russian influenced countries I visited, and it’s a Russian dish. Pancakes made with cottage cheese which gave them the best texture ever. This one was my favourite, served with a lemon whipped condiment and roasted hazelnuts. I ate this on my first morning in Georgia, happy to have some western comforts like a proper coffee after spending the last month in eastern Turkey.

Best coffee

  1. Egg coffee, Vietnam. Very delicious, like a creme brulee crossed with a coffee. I had several whilst popping in and out of Hanoi. This was my favourite. Not too sweet, strong coffee, light and fluffy top.
  2. Pistachio coffee, Turkey. Once you get past the slightly gritty texture and take in the deep pistachio flavour, you’ll be in love. I think about this a lot. I only saw it in Gaziantep and the surrounding area. Had this one in a traditional caravanserai, with coffee houses and food joints all around.

The best homemade food

  1. Christmas dinner, Kazakhstan. No one was more shocked than me by the fact I managed to have a full blown Christmas dinner this year! I mean look at that plate. It was beef wellington rather than turkey, and there are some american thanksgiving additions, but I can forgive all of that. It was unbelievably delicious. Tara from Scotland made it and a big group of us enjoyed it at her soviet apartment in Almaty on Christmas day. It was probably the most important meal of my trip, as a big Christmas lover, and it showed me you can have a feeling of home and community wherever you are in the world.
  2. Nasi Lemak, Malaysia. I helped make this, being shown by Kakak at the rice farm. Coconut rice with an anchovy sambal, fried chicken, eggs and peanuts (plus salad and tofu). It was so much fun to learn to make it and I can’t wait to make it again at home!
  3. Herring in a fur coat, Kazakhstan. As part of our Russian new year’s eve feast Oksana and I made the traditional Herring in a fur coat dish, which is like a layered cake but the layers are herring and boiled potatoes and veg. It’s quite pretty though. And surprisingly tasty!
  4. Cheese fondue, Switzerland. My first meal whilst volunteering with Eva in Switzerland, snuggled up in the mountains above Bern. I was still nervous about travelling and this comforting meal helped settle me into my trip. And you can’t go wrong with fondue can you.
  5. Dal Bhat, Nepal. Probably my most eaten dish of the entire trip. It’s eaten by Nepalese people twice a day, everyday, and only whilst volunteering on the tea farm, eating homemade dal bhat twice a day, everyday, did I understand how this was possible. It’s a balanced, delicious and variable meal. It has everything you need and you can have some fun with the different components. The homemade ones made by Kaushila were by far the best I ate.

Food worth mentioning

  1. This plate of Czech food, Czech Republic. I wasn’t expecting much from Czech food but I actually really enjoyed it. This dish especially, with its rich sauce, two types of potato dumplings, sour pickled cabbage and tender pork cutlets.
  2. Lobio and accompaniments, Georgia. I think this showcases Georgian cooking pretty well. You have the rich and hearty bean stew on one side, and on the other the interesting pairings of fermented veg, pickled beetroot, cheese and crumbly bread. Fun and colourful and delicious!
  3. Plov, Uzbekistan. As the staple food for all of Central Asia I feel like I need to mention plov. No I didn’t really like it, but it has its place. Rice with beans and veg and meat and eggs. The problem I found is that its cooked in animal fat so it’s insanely oily. But it was still a big part of my trip. People would want to cook it for me frequently and I could never find the right words to refuse, so I ate my fair share of it too.
  4. McDonalds, India. I didn’t eat any from any fast food brands in Asia which is a bit of shame because I’d like to have seen how different they are, but I did try McDonalds whilst in Delhi. Seeing as beef is not eaten in India, and many people are vegetarian, the menu is very different to in the UK! Jenny and I split the Paneer burger and the McTikka Aloo burger. Both were pretty good, but I found the paneer one to be way too sweet.
  5. My meal in Myanmar. As the missing piece in the transition of food from England to Indonesia, this meal meant so much to me. As did the fact that I even made it to Myanmar. It left me feeling satisfied in many more ways than just hunger.

Favourite restaurants

  1. Karakoy Gumruk, Turkey. My brother and I ate here twice whilst we stayed in Istanbul. Everything we consumed was just perfect. The atmosphere was wonderful, a bit dark and moody with jazz playing and a slight chill to its decorations.
  2. Veganway, Nepal. A bit of an institution in Pokhara. If you tell anyone who’s been to Pokhara that you’re going, I bet they’ll recommend this place to you. I ate here several times to try and inject myself with nutrients after eating a rather lacking diet whilst hiking. They served up huge salads which were really delicious, and amazing veggie burgers (the mushroom one was the best veggie burger I’ve ever eaten!). Very cheap too.

A new favourite fruit!

Hello soursop, my new favourite fruit. So many new fruits were tried: mangosteen, ramboutan, lychee, durian etc. But this one was something special.

The most significant food of the entire trip

Something that really symbolised how food slowly changes from place to place was the borek. I wrote a whole piece on it whilst back in the balkans because of it’s cultural significance. I also really enjoyed eating it! And I found it never truly left me, I saw it everywhere. The borek was present in the balkans and in Turkey. The samsa appeared in Central Asia. There was the samosa in India and Myanmar. And then finally, the Banh Cuon in Vietnam! All a bit different, but all fundamentally pastry filled with spiced, minced meat.

The worst food

  1. Frog from the garden, overly salted omelette, plain rice. Laos. The frog was still slimy. Any sort of sauce or seasoning would’ve gone a long way. I wouldn’t have eaten it, but I was being slightly starved whilst volunteering here so I ate every last bit of meat on that little frog.
  2. Qurutob, Tajikistan. Bread soaked in lard and yogurt, topped with bread fried in lard, served with raw onions and a different type of bread. The whole family eats from this wooden bowl together, with our hands. It tasted like you’d expect. My lips were shiny with the oil afterwards. When I looked in the mirror in Central Asia my eyes seemed to be covered in a film of grease, because of meals like this.
  3. Plane food including horse meat, Uzbekistan. That anaemic looking square on the right is horse meat and it was not good. Nor was the rest of this sad looking plane meal.

I have a bit of an overview ranking of country’s food in my head but I’m not going to share it here. Feel free to ask me in person for it though, but expect a whole lot of caveats…

Returning home

My trip ended with one last long journey. I had a flight from Bali to Jakarta, waited 7 hours in the airport, had another flight to Dubai, waited 4 hours in the airport, had one last flight to London, travelled from Heathrow to Paddington, waited 2 hours in the train station, got a train to Taunton, and finally was picked up by my brother and I drove the final 1 hour home. In total it took 40 hours. I did the entire journey on autopilot to be honest, feeling exhausted and sad. When it came to the drive home I took the long way, I’m not sure why. I guess I really wasn’t ready to get back and face the true end of my trip.

I was greeted by my lovely parents, swiftly followed by a cup of tea, some marmite on toast and a selection of treats waiting for me on my bed. It was really great to see them. But my overwhelming emotion was still just mehness, and that worried me. I spent the afternoon floating around the house and feeling lost and antsy. In the evening we went for a swim in the sea. It was cold and although I love a sea swim and have missed the cold water, it didn’t do anything to improve my mood. We had a pint afterwards, my first proper british ale, and still I was sad (as you can tell from the photo!). At this point I’d been awake for 46 hours and that was hitting me and definitely contributing to my down demeanour. I went to sleep and woke up after 14 hours. As I opened my eyes and realised I was at home my stomach sank. With a bit more energy than the previous day, I did the things I’d been unable to do for so long - yoga in the garden on my mat, hugged my cats, cooked normal food, had a cup of tea, wore different clothes to the ones in my backpack. I did some productive things like booking a doctor’s appointment to check out my continuing surf injury and do a parasite test. I went on a walk in the sun, through the woods and then down to the sea and back. I watched tv with my parents, cuddled up on the sofa. I had a homecooked dinner. I still just felt sad.

I really thought after 14.5 months of travelling I’d be ready to come home, that I’d be longing for all of those home comforts. At times, I was so exhausted from the decisions and the responsibility of travelling. I thought I’d get home and immediately be so happy to have all of the things I’d been missing. I did not expect to feel sad when it came to leaving, and I definitely didn’t expect to continue to feel sad once I’d arrived home.

It’s been a few days now and I feel okay. Not exactly happy, but not so desperately sad. The things I’ve missed are starting to make me happier. I’m adjusting to this life compared to travelling. I don’t like the idea that I’m ‘settling back in’ because that suggests everything reverting back to exactly how it was before I left, and I have so much I want to incorporate into my life that wasn’t there before. But I’m adjusting. I have lots of lovely plans for the next few weeks, seeing friends and family and doing the things I love. And then I move up to London and have all of the fun of creating a little life up there again. And then I start my job… So lots of exciting things to keep me occupied!

I wanted to write this post because people would often ask me how I felt about going home, so perhaps it’s of an interest to people. Also, the way I thought I felt about it and how I actually felt about it when it come down to it, was wildly different! Thinking about returning home was something that gave me a little anxiety when I thought about it whilst travelling. People would comment on how strange it would be for me. I would worry about so many different things. Then I booked my flight at the end of May and I felt okay about it all. I gave myself time to process coming home at the surf camp. I thought I’d done a great job and everything would go swimmingly. How it’s actually been has surprised me a lot. It’s been difficult and I think it will continue to be difficult for a little while. It’s hard to voice this to people as well, without it coming across as me hating home and hating seeing them after so long! It’s also hitting me how I’ve got all of these memories and experiences in my head and I will never be able to truly share them with anyone. On one hand that’s kind of wonderful, they’re just mine, but on the other hand I can feel it becoming isolating at times. So, to everyone who asked me how I felt about going home, the answer is very very not okay!

One last stop - Gili Air

The surf camp ended and we said our teary goodbyes. I had a few days before my flight home (big sad face) and decided to squeeze in one last stop - Gili Air. Several others from the camp were heading there too so we got a taxi together to the port and caught the public ferry over to the little island. There are three Gili islands off the coast of Lombok and they are characterised as follows: Gili Air is chilled out and with stuff to do; Gili Meno is for couples and there’s nothing to do; Gili T is a party island. Having left both sides of my love triangle behind in Gerupuk and definitely not in a partying mood, I chose Gili Air. It was an absolute paradise. I only had two nights there but I could’ve spent a week.

The island is very small, it only takes around 25 minutes to cycle around it. And you have to cycle because there are no cars or mopeds only bikes and horses. There are very lovely cafes and shops in parts and dense forest and local houses in others. Exploring it by bike was so much fun and reminded me of family trips to centre parcs. I watched sunrise both mornings and sunset both evenings. I did headstands on the beach. I scuba dived and saw lion fish and turtles. I met up with surf camp friends for sunset drinks and dinner, and for smoothie bowls and coffee. I got a traditional bamboo tattoo which was a wonderfully meditative process. I lived my best life and was smiling from ear to ear the entire time.

The last leg

And then it was time to leave. I got a fast boat to Bali where I sat on the sun deck and got absolutely drenched from the spray. From the port it was one last bus over to Sanur where I spent the night. I had one last sunset walk and one final meal. I wrote in my journal and tried to take it in, trying to make myself understand that tomorrow I’d be flying home. I realised that perhaps I hadn’t processed it quite as well as I thought. I had a pit in my stomach and the thought of missing my flight and continuing to travel did cross my mind. I returned to my homestay, showered and packed up my bag one final time. In the morning I got up early to watch the final sunrise. I took my bags down to the beach and watched the sky softly change colour and the sun emerge from the water, huge in its orangeness. I ordered my taxi, of course going for the cheaper option of a scooter, and had an uncomfortable ride with both my backpacks on over to the airport. I flew to Jakarta and spent the day mooching around the airport there before catching my flight home. I’m sure I’ll be happy once I arrive home but in this moment I’m sad to my gut.