After waving my brother off on his bus to the airport I went to meet some girls from our hostel at a Hammam. They had been the previous day but loved it so much they were going again, and invited me to join them. We went to the Mihrimah Sultan Hamam, which is not a touristy one - no english spoken here! I’m so glad I had Juliette and Frances with me because I’d have been completely lost otherwise, having done no research on what to expect or how it all works. The experience was bemusing and strange, but also enjoyable and I left feeling the smoothest I’ve perhaps ever felt. My biggest recommendation for Istanbul would be to end your trip with a visit to a Hammam, washing off any city grime and leaving you refreshed for your flight home.
Here’s a run down of the experience:
I initially entered the men’s area and was chased out, being directed to the female entrance. So men and women are fully separated for the experience! I handed over 300 TL (around £15) and was given a cloth and a pair of sliders. I wore bikini bottoms and wrapped the cloth around me, going downstairs to the baths. What followed was a labyrinth of marble rooms with faucets from which water flowed continuously into basins around the edge of each room, and with marble slabs in the centres. I wandered through these into the main room - distinctive due to it’s huge marble octagon table in the centre and a sauna on one side. It was evident at this point that the etiquette was to hang your cloth up and exist in just bikini bottoms. Always in favour of women-only nude spaces and feeling comfortable in our bodies I was happy to join in. From the sauna I had a view of the main marble table, and could observe the process. It did look rather odd to me, a large turkish woman in a bikini scrubbing down another naked woman lying on a slab. It looked odder still when the woman was made to sit up, with her arm being held up and scrubbed. It reminded me of an elderly person being washed by a carer. After awkwardly waiting, sitting on the low marble bench that ran around the edge of the room, one of the woman doing the scrubbing was free and gestured to me. Guess it was my time. She led me through the maze to one of the smaller rooms. Juliette was already in there and was sat up on her marble slab, covered from head to toe in a dark coffee scrub looking like a mud monster. We smiled at one another before I lay face down on another marble slab as instructed. First the woman scrubbed me vigorously with an exfoliating mitt and some soap. It wasn’t painful at all, and feeling the dead skin and grime come off was quite satisfying. I was impressed with how thorough she was, scrubbing my feet and even between my bum cheeks… She slapped my arse and I took this to mean I should turn over onto my back - it was an interesting signal. The exfoliation continued on my front and she then tapped my shoulder and gestured that I should sit up. In doing so my hand brushed my stomach and I was honestly shocked at how smooth my skin now felt! She continued doing my neck and shoulders, lifting each of my arms to do my armpits. She then did my face, which I wasn’t so happy about seeing as that mitt had just been on my feet and, as I mentioned, between my bum cheeks. Whilst still sitting she filled a bowl with water from the faucet and chucked it over my head, mildly waterboarding me. She then gestured for me to stand and continued using the bowl to wash off the soap and the disgusting amount of grey worms of dead skin and dirt that were left on my body after the exfoliation. It really looked like I hadn’t properly washed in several months, which isn’t too far from the truth I suppose. Again being very thorough, she pulled my bikini bottoms out from my body to chuck water down my bum. I lay back on the slab for round two: the coffee scrub. It smelt amazing and the experience was more gentle than the first round. The whole process was repeated with this, including the slap on the arse signal and mild waterboarding. The final round was a soapy massage. My track record with massages hasn’t been great and this wasn’t much better, with her really going to town on my dodgy shoulder which was quite painful. But after months of uncomfortable hostel beds and long bus journeys it was definitely needed. I’d say I was shocked at how strong she was as she rolled her arms up and down my back, but I wasn’t. She looked very strong! Just when I thought the experience was over she applied a mud mask to my face. That really was the end, and I returned to the main room feeling incredibly smooth and slightly violated.